Am I Less of A Man If I Speak Up?

Domestic Violence Against Men

This is a case for men who have been violated domestically by their spouses; it is an untold story about domestic violence.

Douglas glanced at his wrist watch for the umpteenth time, the board meeting was taking longer than usually “for crying out loud it is 9:00pm” he thought.

The managing director noticed the air of uneasiness revolving around him, “Mr. Douglas is everything okay with you? “, “yes sir Am fine”. He straightened on his seat.  Mr. Edwards the managing director went on with the meeting and at 10:00pm the meeting came to an end. Douglas could barely wait for the closing prayer before he grabbed his bag and dashed to his car, he rushed home, on his way home he bought some fruits for his wife from a roadside fruit vendor.

Climbing the stairs, bag in a hand and the plastic bag containing the fruit in another hand, his knees wobbled.

Finally after what seems like eternity he got to his door, he gently tapped the door repeatedly and after five minutes of continuous tapping his wife opened the door. “Where are you coming from Douglas?! You this shameless stupid godforsaken he goat” she thundered.

Douglas quietly walked passed her into the living room, his wife followed him. “so you won’t answer me ehn!, you left this house around 7:00am in the morning and look at the time, it’s few minutes to 11:00pm in the night, how useless can you be? ” she held his shirt by the neck almost strangling him, Douglas pulled her hands away from his shirt “honey am sorry,  the board meeting was longer than expected trust me, I practically ran home and I got you your favourite fruits too”. He gave his wife the plastic bag of fruits she collected it and smashed it on his head “you must be very stupid do I look hungry to you, you think you can just go out commit adultery and come back with fruits to appease me?”

Douglas winced in pain, held his wife by the shoulders “Kate! Calm down you are really getting on my nerves, I need some fresh air!” He took his keys and head for the door. Kate picked the flower vase and ran after him, holding his shirt from behind “where do you think you are going?” Douglas pushed her away mildly and she fell to the ground, she stood up caught up with him by the stairs and hit his head with the flower vase, HE SLUMPED*****.

But don’t be carried away with the story yet, this write up is about domestic violence.

When we hear the word “domestic violence” what ordinarily comes to our mind is a man beating or maltreating a woman, or the male gender generally maltreating the female gender, either in marriages or in relationships. It actually goes beyond that as domestic violence can also be the other way round, I mean the female maltreating the male either in marriage or relationship like Kate in the above scenario.

What is Domestic Violence?

An online dictionary defines domestic violence as violence against another in an intimate relationship such as marriages and dating, simply put intimate partner violence.

Some maybe just beatings while others may involve causing grievous bodily harm, some even result to death! To me the violence is wilder than being domestic. Like I earlier said everything doesn’t evolve around the female gender. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST THE MALE GENDER IS REAL!

Some women, permit me to say, are from the pit of hell, they beat up their husbands, run them down with derogatory words and treat them poorly. Strength ordinarily is being associated with the male gender but not all of them are strong, the fact that color green is associated with apples does not make all apples green, some are red. It’s no news that some women are stronger than their husbands and if such women are part of those who cannot make a single sentence without being physical then they tend to beat up their husbands/partners.

Women, or more generally, the female gender, being outspoken in nature, will quickly tell it to the world that they have being maltreated except few women of course who bottle it all up for the sake of love or whatever they deem fit. The male gender due to their ego tends to bottle it all up. Some will be of the view that, “How can I open my mouth to say I have been beaten by my wife?”, “How will I look like?”, “People will call me a weakling”, “I will be ridiculed”, bla bla bla.

Is it not better to be treated less of a man than to be dead or suffer in silence? Just the way women and ladies have been advised to speak up for themselves and leave an abusive marriage or relationship. Men should also learn to speak up and leave abusive marriages and relationships.

It may sound absurd but it does happen, we have heard cases of women cutting off their husbands’ genitals, butchering them, pouring acid on them and even going to the extent of killing them. These are stuffs you see happen in unhealthy relationships.

In conclusion marriage or relationship is not a do or die affair, if you feel your partner is cheating on you and you can’t take it just leave in peace, if you feel there is an unforgivable sin in your marriage or relationship leave honorably. Domestic violence is bad for either gender (male / female), we do not get to choose our parents, siblings or family but we get to choose our spouses/partners so choose wisely. Stay away from people who get physical and men speak up or leave it does not make you less of a man. Love itself is life, love is patient and sweet, and it is love not war.  1st Corinthians 13 vs. 1-8 (read through).


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