If you ask most people who have been involved in an unhealthy relationship if they would like to continue with the relationship, if it were possible to make things right, they will tell you they won’t mind. But the question is, Can an unhealthy relationship become healthy again? Can the things that have been made wrong be made right again? Can the open wounds be healed? Yes, as humans, we go into relationships with our hearts and our guards mostly off and with our lives fully invested. This is why it hurts badly whenever the people who profess to love us and we in turn loved turn into beasts and unhealthy people. Because of the amount of love invested, we would mostly like the relationship to really survive. But in some cases, it is a matter of being happy or being sad. It’s a choice everyone will have to make. If truly there are ways to make an unhealthy relationship become healthy again, then I think most people wouldn’t mind, I wouldn’t mind.
There are however a lot of indices that determine the possibility of an unhealthy relationship becoming healthy again. It has to involve both parties in the relationship determining to actually give it their all. It also has to involve complete forgiveness and this is kind of hard but it is not impossible. The following are some steps I believe can help you towards restoring your relationship and making it healthy again.
Talk, Talk, Talk
One of the things that disappears when a relationship starts becoming unhealthy is communication. You can read more on Tips to better communication here. Couples who are having issues usually stop talking and this is for obvious reasons. Now there is nothing that helps us, as humans, get things off our chest than talking. Talking helps us to understand each other’s point of view and brings things into perspective. Talking with your partner will help you express your hurts while your partner sincerely expresses whatever they feel the issue is. This kind of talk is best done in the presence of a marriage counselor who can help keep you guys in perspective. The purpose of talking is to get things off your chest and release all the bitterness that might have been accumulated over time.
Start Paying Attention to Each Other
Can an unhealthy relationship become healthy again? Yes, if there is a way for you guys to start paying attention to each other again. When there is fight and strife in a relationship, no one looks at the other again and when at all there are looks, they are looks of hate. If you and your spouse can start paying attention to the things that attracted you to one another in the first place, you might fight intimacy again. You might find how much you have missed and get hungry for some love again. My wife and I have had disagreements in the past and mostly, we don’t look at each other for a second. But whenever I try to look at her, my heart melts and I remember how beautiful she is and why I don’t have to be in disagreement with her. Paying attention to one another can do the trick.
Decide to Forgive One Another
This may be a long walk but each day will bring healing. As long as you keep holding on to the past, nothing is going to work. Yeah I know it is pretty hard to forget, even when you have forgiven. There will be times when memories of the unhealthy past will stream along, it could be something triggered by a behavior or statement made by your partner. Decide not to refer or bring to remembrance what has been forgiven. Decide to stay fresh and in the moment. That way, it will be easier to forget the past and move on.
Can an unhealthy relationship become healthy again? Yes but it will require selflessness and some work. While trying to make things work with your partner, you should know that there will be some bad days. Sometimes, things won’t even work the way you want them to but you have got to try. It is our desire at Relationships and Family that your relationships work out the way you want them to.