Dealing with quarrelsome kids in the family isn’t really fun. It is easier dealing with adults but with kids, it’s harder and this is because they are still tender and they know how to just burst your bubble. No matter how much I frown my face, my 2 year old daughter knows exactly how to make me smile. Because kids are this smart, one has to find ways to instill values into them without breaking them or making them feel unloved. As kids grow up, they may get into quarrels with their siblings and with other kids in school or at play. There is therefore need to find ways of dealing with quarrelsome kids in the family, in order to ensure such behavior does not become a reason for sleepless nights later.
So if you are wondering how to deal with quarrelsome kids, here are some tips you can follow.
- Set Rules for Wrong Behaviour Early
Misbehavior is normal with kids – they will misbehave. This is not because they want to but because they don’t know good from bad. They are just in the experimental stage and they see many things and would want to try them all out. When they misbehave, it is going to do you much good to set rules. If your kids know that wrong behavior will not be overlooked, they will get to understand not to misbehave. Don’t overlook misbehavior. Don’t say, “Well they are young, they don’t even know anything”. If they do something wrong and they don’t see you correct them, they will assume that such behavior is okay.
- Stick to the Set Rules
Setting rules for dealing with quarrelsome kids in the family is one thing, sticking to the rules is another. Any parent could set rules but not every parent can implement or enforce them. Like I said, kids have a way of making you feel guilty for correcting them. You have got to take a stand and ignore their ploys. If they did wrong, correct them and don’t bend the rules just to please them. They will grow up to give you more peace in the home. If you set rules and don’t follow them, they make a liar out of you and may one day tell you to your face that you can do nothing to them. I bet you don’t want it to get to that point.
- Don’t Spare the Rod
Once in a while, you might have to spank your kids if you don’t want them spoilt. I am not in agreement with parents and laws that say you should not spank your kids. The bible endorses it. Spanking doesn’t kill, if done in love. I however recommend you follow the spanking rules. Don’t just beat your kids for no reason. Don’t expend your frustrations or personal issues on them. Make sure there is something they have done wrong, based on the set rules, before you spank. Above all, spank with love. After spanking, tell the reason why you spanked them. This will help them take lessons. This is one effective way of dealing with quarrelsome kids in the family.
- Encourage Dialogue
Your kids look up to you for many things and the bulk of the things they will learn are what they see you do. So what do you do when you are angry? Do you fight? If you do, then they will fight and you will be in no place to correct. However, if they see you dialogue, they may learn to embrace dialogue when they have differences with their siblings and other kids. Apart from seeing you do it, encourage them that dialogue is effective and prevents trouble. Let your kids know that dialogue is a much mature way of handling differences and that fighting and quarreling is for cowards.
- Reward Good Behaviour However You Can
When your kids do right, reward them! It will make them always want to do right. If you promise them ice-cream, buy it. If you give them a target and they meet it, compensate them. If you default on your promises, they will see no reason to put in work. Just as you deal with them when they do wrong, make them happy when they do right. Dealing with quarrelsome kids in the family at an early stage will help to ensure that you don’t raise kids that beat other kids to stupor, giving you bad names in the public. Bear in mind that great kids are not born, they are raised. Raise yours.