Are you going through failed relationships? You probably have had series of relationships that have ended up in shambles; relationships that you have invested your all into. This is very hurtful because each relationship that failed took a part of you and at times, you tend to look at yourself and wonder if there is anything left in you to give again. This probably have made you build boundaries and walls, to protect whatever is left in your heart; if at all there is anything left. I have been there a couple of times too and at a particular point, I felt dead.
A failed relationship doesn’t spell the end of life and it definitely should not end your ability to love. You do need to heal and yeah, you do need to take some time out to get yourself back together but there are some things you shouldn’t do at all. I am going to share a few tips on what to do when going through failed relationships.
Take A Time Out
One failed relationship is enough to wreck some hearts and for others, it may take two or more. Most of the time, after a failed relationship, we are in a haste to get into another relationship. Lucas’ mother told him in One Three Hill, after his heart has just been broken by Peyton Sawyer, that the easiest way to get over someone is to get under another person! It actually sounds true because that’s what we do most of the time, we look for a rebound relationship. But this is not a nice move. What you actually need after a failed relationship is a time out to really see things clear. If you rush into another relationship, you may just realize soon that it was a wrong decision. So take some time out for yourself and reflect on your past relationship.
Reflect and Take Notes
Most of the time, it is hard to see where we are wrong when we are in a relationship. It is easier when the relationship is no more. The right thing to do is to find out what probably caused the relationship to fail. The truth is, you cannot be wrong completely for all that happened, your partner definitely had a part to play but that’s not your problem right now. Your focus should be on what part you played. An understanding of where you were wrong will help you to make proper corrections which will help you to be better in your next relationship and to avoid making the same mistakes again.
Be Sincere but Don’t be Too Harsh On Yourself
Sincerity is of the essence when trying to find out how you were wrong in your failed relationship. Without sincerity, you will just assume that none of it was your fault. If you are not sincere, you will not learn anything. Also, you cannot be too harsh on yourself. Being harsh on yourself is placing all of the blame on yourself for the failed relationship. This is what people do most of the time when going through failed relationships; they blame themselves and play the victim just to feel better. Hey, that won’t help! Be sincere to admit your wrongs and be sincere enough to not blame yourself for everything.
Get Over It
After you might have done a thorough reflection and taken notes, it’s time to get over it. How long it takes depends on your strong you are but there is nothing wrong with giving yourself time. You however do not want to stay too long there. One way to help yourself get over it is to get busy. Being idle or alone will not help you at all when going through failed relationships. Activities that will engage your time will help you forget about your pains and in the long run, you will be able to breathe again.
Do Not Wall Your Heart
…but be strict! Walling your heart and fencing everyone who shows interest in you off is not going to be good for you. You definitely will have people come around you. Accommodate as much as you can but be strict enough to sieve through the bunch to know who is for real. Don’t be caught off guard by the thrills and show that you let your guards off. Take your time to focus on the personality of the people that come around you. You might just find your man in a shining armor come along this way.
It is not easy going through failed relationships but it definitely will make you stronger. You will learn and get better and definitely, one day, it will all be worth it