Have you ever been heartbroken? I have. Most of us who have will agree that the only thing on our minds during heartbreaks is how to get over the pain. Heartbreaks can really be so devastating and as long as we have blood running through our veins, we will feel the pains. Some lose their appetite completely and will not eat for days while some will even attempt suicide. Yeah, it can be that bad. For some, it takes longer to get over the accompanying pain of heartbreaks while for others, it doesn’t take long. I think it has to do with how involved you are with the person and how strong you are emotionally. If you are currently going through the pain of heartbreak and are confused about what to do to get over it, here are a few tips that could be helpful for you as you transition.
- Accept the Reality
The reality is, the person you were in love with is no longer interested in the relationship. Whether the person told you verbally or you caught the person with another, the bottom line is, the relationship can no longer continue and this is the reality. However, as humans, it is not really easy to accept change. Yet, the best thing to do at this moment is to accept this reality that this relationship is no longer continuing and that you have to pick yourself up and face the facts. If you are still holding on and wishing that the relationship continue, you will never be able to get over the pain of heartbreaks and as long as you hold on, the pains will keep piling up. Most sink into depression because of heartbreaks. This is why some people should never be left all by themselves during heartbreaks.
According to Mandy Hale, a quote cited by Laura Yates in the article, Healing From Heartbreak on Tiny Buddha, “to get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over.
- Try Not to Be All Alone
The common thing people do when they are going through heartbreaks is to keep to themselves; stay alone and block out the whole world. This is however not advisable. By all means, I know you may need to be by yourself to mourn your broken relationship but don’t stay alone. Being alone gives room for random thoughts to fly through your mind and if care is not taken, you may be drawn to try dangerous things. You need people around you to tell you that you are not the problem, that you are okay and that everything is going to be alright. You need people to comfort you and speak words of encouragement to you. They will help you get over the pain of heartbreaks faster.
- Get Active
Apart from wanting to stay alone, during heartbreaks, people naturally don’t want to do anything. I had only been heartbroken twice but the second one was more devastating than the first because of the involvement and how long the relationship had taken. I remembered I usually sleep late and wake up feeling useless. I hardly eat. All I do is think about the good times we shared and why she had to call the relationship off. What even hurts more is when people hear about it and ask what happened, the process of narrating my end of the story feels like a healing wound that is being re-opened.
So don’t allow that. Get active and get something doing. If you don’t have a job, get one even if you are not getting paid for doing it. Take some piano classes, go play football or go scuba diving. Just get active. This will give you less time to wallow in the pool of pity. One of the things that I engaged in that time was to watch movies. They really helped. Watching movies is one cool way of getting over the pain of heartbreaks. It keeps your mind engaged.
- Don’t Bother Telling Your Stories to People who Ask
You don’t need to, trust me. Not until you are pretty sure you have healed up. People who know your relationship will ask what happened and why you guys are not together again. People who don’t will ask you why you are looking sad and terrible. Everyone who cares will want to know what’s up with you and it’s okay but for your sake, do not bother. Just tell them you are going to be fine. Tell them you are just going through a phase and you are going be okay. If you go about telling everyone who cares to know what happened, you may never be able to get over the pain of heartbreaks. The less you have to talk about it, the less you will have to think about it and the faster you can heal and move on.
One last tip that that could help you get over the pain of heartbreaks is socialize. Someone said the easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Now that’s funny but there is some truth there. This is why many people look for rebound relationships after heartbreaks. I do not recommend you rush into another relationship immediately after getting out of one. For one, you should know what went wrong with the other relationship and at least ensure that you have learnt your lessons so that you don’t make the same mistakes in your future relationships. For this I recommend you take some time out to be quiet so that you can truly analyze the events that led to the end of this relationship. If you have been able to do that, then you are free to socialize, meet people, be open and be hopeful. One thing you should always know is that someone better will come along and you will eventually understand why your past relationships didn’t work.
These 5 tips, I believe will help those asking for how best to get over the pain of heartbreaks.